So, I made a rather base realization today as I read and reflected on my life, my students, the purpose of "it all", Teach for America, and the slight fog still in my head left over from the 6 hours at the Karaoke bar last night. I realized that I am 22. Then I started making some calculations: I spent 12 years in primary school: 1st,2nd,3rd,4th,5th,6th,7th,8th,9th,10th,11th,and 12th grade. Add onto that one year of preschool and one year of kindergarten (sidebar: The school I am working at in the fall, Garcia Elementary, has the mascot The Gators. The kindergarten staff has cute little t-shirts with a smiling cartoon Gator on it holding a crayon and underneath the picture the t-shirt says: KinderGator Teacher. That is far too cute and puny for its own good. I almost asked for a grade level shirt so I could wear that shirt everyday). Then add onto those 14 years total 4 more years of college. I have spent 18 of my 22 years in school learning. I have now spent 4 weeks back in school teaching and in a hyperbolic way I am not sure in which period of time I have learned more. I know for a fact that despite sitting through classes taught in Spanish, despite studying advanced mathematics and statistics. despite learning i know virtually nothing about the vast world history in regions east of Russia and south of Egypt, despite all of that- in the last 4 weeks I have finally actually learned how little I know. Also, how little life experience I have.
Something about having to explain concepts to tiny people with no background and not being able to skirt around the areas I am less clear about really exposes weaknesses in content areas. Also, something about having to teach all subjects (even at a fifth grade level) really opened my eyes at how much I want to learn if I want to become a truly great teacher. I have SOOOO much i want to learn not only about content but about how to teach and how to reach so many different learning styles. I am reading a book from a friend (Donut) called Teacher Man by Frank McCourt. In it he reflects linearly about his experience teaching and the book has really struck a chord with me. He writes of the thousand little things that effect (affect? so many things I don't know) a classroom and the students receptiveness to learn. I feel so small up there- equipped mainly with energy and a few tricks I have picked up along the way- I feel like I am walking through life with too much to learn.
On a contradictory note: I am now one step closer to becoming certified to teach officially!!!!! Today I got the test results back from the state Texas Exam I had to take to pass certification. I got a 287 out of 300. A 240 was required for certification. If I had gotten 13 more points I would have nothing more to learn from anyone.
More later on actually teaching this week.
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