A big question within a small thought during a particularily small moment.

StanfordTest Results:

He continues to set the bar as high as it will go and then jump under it so convincingly it looks more like ducking than jumping. Trying not to change the rules of the game to save face which is harder when lives hang in the balance.



Author's note:
( My challange to you: Try to follow this random string of metaphorical consiousness that i wrote on the backside of the spelling test that I jotted the above note on)
Sometimes I write in third person to not sound conceded. Mostly to not sound pathetic. Sometimes it comes out poetic- but it is often more truthful than when i build stories around an I that needs to be protected by so much more than lids, because no amount of watering can make an I feel better. Failure is like a sharp stick when an I is like an eye. (here i drew an eye with an I for a pupil...)

When I can wrap my thoughts around myself like looking in, I tend to give myself the empathy I try to give others. Sometimes I might even deserve it.

Author's note on the Author's note:
The spelling test was the only 100% in the class. It did not have a name on it. Really.

Author's note on the previous notes:
Honestly, I am not that emo- things are all right here, but it does inspire a fair amount of introspection on what success, failure, and everything looks like- which will be discussed from an academic point of view in the next post.

Today is Picture Day

My kids are all out of uniform and strutting their stuff like little models.
Today should be a riot. We are buried in the midst of test prep and it has been a burden on my overly competative psyche as it fights itself. I am philosphically opposed to standardized tests as they are being done here, and yet can't remove the pressure that my administration puts on me- or more importantly, the pressure I put on myself.

So, today, I give up my anxieties, fatigue and stress and try to focus on my students' needs both academic and social as they struggle with the desire to be more grown up than they are. (Something that they don't realize Mr. B relates with as well). Today I focus on staying positive, reaffirming, and to lead them with a smile regardless of outside circumstances. I will learn to be a rock.

Because, heck, I rock :)

Specific anecdotes from the last month coming soon- they just need to be copied from my journal.