120 minutes well spent!

I just read 2 hours of poetry.

Time I desperatley needed to lesson plan. I spent the weekend being reminded how blessed my life has been. I have been loved beyond measure. Tessa came and visited and it was nice to be reminded of where I have come from. She was a glimpse of sunlight that reminded me of old friends and family. And in the presence of those thoughts I was able to re-appreciate the crazy and wonderful presence of this city and the struggle, beauty, and tension that is humanity trying to live together in such close proximity. And despite my continued lack of direction in day to day lives as well as long term- I now have in my head where I have come from, where I am, and frankly- that is good enough for me.

I did not do nearly enough school work this week and I am back to the grindstone soon. My kids deserve it. Today, though under-planned and unready went well. I Love my kids. I Love my subject. And someday- they too will find a place where despite being tired and fighting lingering loneliness, a book of poetry arriving in the mail can rip them from the axis of time, and throw them into themselves so deeply that they crawl out the other side of their consciousness with nothing except wonder and a fierce desire to grip every moment of life and relish it- even the dark, sorrowful moments of life that frustrate like a heart attack that occurs in a broken elevator with no recollection of those CPR classes you took in 8th grade, and a phone with a broken "9" key.

But I am not in one of those moments. Now the future seems bright, daunting, and irrelevant to the now. Now I am paying bills because the money isn't mine. Now I am finding ways to teach my kids of Native Americans. Now I am digging through books and books of poetry praying to find that one poem that might change the life of even one of my kids. And if I don't- well then I just got to read 2 hours of poetry!